THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING WELL-LIKED

How to get people to like you

You have just started a new job or you want to build better relations and image in your current job. Whatever is the case, you want the others to like you more. Been well-liked is a powerful ingredient of success. Your behavior determines how the others will like you. Why people need to be liked? When people like you they are more willing to work with you, to collaborate with you, to promote you. Regardless of your job, you are part of a social dynamic inside your organization. The biggest obstacle to anyone’s success is a good socialization in the organization. If your co-workers do not like you, word will spread and your career in your organization may be doomed. If a group of superiors do not like you, the same thing will occur. If customers don’t like you even if your product is good… you can imagine.

Everyone wants to be liked by his colleagues, friends, bosses, neighbors. You don’t need to be a great looking super athlete (though it helps).

Why in the first place you want those boring colleagues to like you? There are many benefits of being liked. You can always get this support you need to accomplish you projects. If you have to build up a team it will be easier to find the required team members. If you are promoted you will be easily accepted: the people will say: he deserved it. You will get loyal customers because they like you. People forgive mistakes because they like you.

Will you be surprised to know that well-liked people are more successful? Will you be surprised to know that many well-liked people worked on it? You can also work on it but know that it needs a lot of practice and still many people failed to become well-liked.

What those well-liked people actually do?

They observe the others and accurately interpret their behavior and social situation. They are flexible, adapting their own behavior as situation changes to respond to the feelings of the others. Well liked people appear to be honest, open, and forthright.

In order to be well-liked you need to be yourself but also to work on your behavior. Don’t try to change completely as the people don’t like and trust pretenders. People like natural people with naturally GOOD behavior. You can build this behavior without changing what you are.

I will give you some starting points on which to work to become well-liked:

The basics you already know: be nice and polite with the others, be a decent and humble human being. Do some basic hygiene: be clean (take regularly a shower), wear clean cloths, and smell nice. That’s ok for everyone. But there are some small techniques that you can try to implement every day and you can find yourself becoming more popular.

Use personal name.

People like to hear their names. They feel you closer and thus they feel safer to talk to you. When you use personal name when addressing someone he feels more respected. You made an effort to learn his name. Do your best to learn their names and make use of them. Always use an individual's name in a conversation. “Hello, how are you doing” is a nice greeting in the office when meeting a colleague but “Hello Jane, how are you doing” have more power. “Can I ask you for the latest data?” vs “Jane, can I ask you for the latest data?” “Thanks a lot for the help.” Vs “Thanks a lot for your help Mike.” Yes this is a very simple but proven powerful tool.

Look people in the eyes.

When you talk to someone don’t look down. It makes you look unconfident. Looking at your mobile phone, monitor, or book makes people think you don’t care about your discussion. It looks rude, even you do it unintentionally because you are very busy. Always look the people you talk to in the eyes. This creates sense of involvement and interest.

Listen to the people

Don’t pretend listening. Listen to the others with understanding. When they talk, tray to be engaged and to participate. Make short responses to show that you really listen and understand, but don’t take the word as it is interruption and considered rude.

Anne: He asked me to organize all the documents by customers and to identify all the customers that haven’t place an order for the last 3 months.

You: That sounds like a lot of work.

Anne: Yes it is and spent a full week doing it while I had to do my daily tasks

You: Yes I can imagine the pressure. But at last you are done and it sounds to me like a very important job you have done that can really help us.

In this conversation you are a third party and you really don’t care but you justified Anne’s work and make her feel. Now Anne likes you more. Good step forward.

Praise and make compliments

If someone achieves a success don’t envy and don’t remain silent. Praise him and make sincere compliments. Don’t make it sound like flattering. Recognize his success. People like when their efforts are recognized. It feels great to be told you've performed well. Spread good words about others that deserve it. If you do not engage in gossip, others will respect you more.

Ask questions

Asking the right questions in the right time is a very powerful tool to get people like you. Ask people about their success. Everyone likes to tell success stories. Ask the people about their lives, interests, hobbies. People like to talk about themselves.

Give Feedback, Ask Questions

If you use questions to guide people toward the errors in their thinking process and allow them to come up with the solution themselves, they’re less likely to feel threatened and more likely to follow through.

Ask for advice

Asking someone for advice is a great strategy for getting people to like you. Asking for advice shows that you value the other opinion and demonstrates respect. Everyone likes to feel needed and important. People become more open towards you. Don’t be afraid or too proud to ask for advice. Think of it as a strategy to get people like you.

Be honest and frank but not rude

Don’t do it in a direct and rude way. Follow all the previous steps but at the end be honest. People trust honest people. Make yourself trustable. If you really have to say something negative to someone do it after pointing at least two positive things before that.

“I have the feeling that you are not very concentrated lately and you don’t put enough efforts on the project. Can you focus more in the future? This project is very important for me” Or you can say:

“Your job in the last project was great James. You handled that customer in a very professional way. I can imagine that you are a bit tired, but can you put the same efforts in the new project? It is really important for the company.”

At the end: Be professional in you work, even if you don’t like it. Learn a lot to know a lot. People like smart people that are really good at their job. Learn from the others and ask for advices. Always be ready to help when you can.

Try these steps and master them. Then we can talk again what is next.

Disclaimer! Beware – this can make you super popular so you will not be able to get rid of followers.

#success #liked #wellliked